Special News Unit
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24.02.202520:30
BREAKING: 🇮🇱⚡️Yoav Gallant calls for overthrowing of Benjamin Netanyahu’s Goverment. “Get the whole cabinet out and burn it down.” He said to his supporters and other allies in private.
24.02.202518:00
BREAKING: 🇪🇺⚡️🇷🇺 European Union ends all Sanctions against the Russian Federation Effective Immediately.
24.02.202513:58
🇩🇪🗳🤡 Yesterday Germany voted for a new parliament. But don't worry, everything will stay the same! A new "Great Coalition" between CDU/SPD will rule. Also the meme was stolen - we ain't got no budget at SNU.
#Germany #election #2025
#Germany #election #2025
24.02.202508:25
It's #Monday again. The world is still spinning. No #WW3. We still have to go to work.
23.02.202523:26
#BREAKING
Don't worry, he has been revived after a personal letter from Joulani containing a signed feet pic.
Don't worry, he has been revived after a personal letter from Joulani containing a signed feet pic.
23.02.202521:23
#BREAKING
One of members of SNU team died after he didn't receive his promised picture of Joulani's feet!
One of members of SNU team died after he didn't receive his promised picture of Joulani's feet!
23.02.202520:28
#BREAKING
People are dying because of lack of naked Joulani pictures!
People are dying because of lack of naked Joulani pictures!
23.02.202520:13
#BREAKING
People are dying all over the world! Reasons unknown.
People are dying all over the world! Reasons unknown.
23.02.202520:07
Women of Asia now want to marry Joulani, the best man with the best dick!
23.02.202519:59
— Joulani has stripped so hard that he was declared the most sexy man in Asia 2025!
23.02.202519:38
Editors note:
There are some misspellings
It is in reality Middle East Coper
There are some misspellings
It is in reality Middle East Coper
23.02.202514:45
BREAKING: Rabbi Convinced He Survived the Holocaust, Runs Nonexistent Deli, Declares Ocean Anti-Semitic
NEW YORK, NY – Rabbi Abraham Feldman, 57, insists he is a Holocaust survivor, despite being born in Brooklyn in 1968. He also claims to own “Feldman’s Kosher Delicatessen” and work at the Grand Adler Hotel—though neither is true.
“He just shows up, blesses random guests, and talks about ‘escaping Poland,’” said a confused hotel employee. “But he’s from Queens.”
Feldman also believes the ocean is anti-Semitic. “The waves always push Jews out. That’s not a coincidence,” he said while refusing to touch a glass of water.
NEW YORK, NY – Rabbi Abraham Feldman, 57, insists he is a Holocaust survivor, despite being born in Brooklyn in 1968. He also claims to own “Feldman’s Kosher Delicatessen” and work at the Grand Adler Hotel—though neither is true.
“He just shows up, blesses random guests, and talks about ‘escaping Poland,’” said a confused hotel employee. “But he’s from Queens.”
Feldman also believes the ocean is anti-Semitic. “The waves always push Jews out. That’s not a coincidence,” he said while refusing to touch a glass of water.
23.02.202512:40
#YeForFree
23.02.202511:14
BREAKING: Iran Fails to Launch “True Promise 3” After Forgetting What the Promise Was
Tehran, 🇮🇷⚡️🇮🇱 Iranian officials have reportedly failed to launch their much-anticipated “True Promise 3” operation not due to technical difficulties or strategic recalculations, but simply because they, well… forgot about it.
Sources inside Iran’s military command say the planned retaliatory strike, which was heavily teased after previous escalations, never materialized because key figures in the operation “kind of forgot what the promise was” and assumed that if they just stopped mentioning it, everyone else would, too.
“We had True Promise 1 and 2, but when it came time for 3, we realized no one actually wrote it down,” said one anonymous senior official. “And by that point, it just felt awkward to ask. We figured, maybe the world would just forget about it along with us. But, uh… here we are.”
Despite the apparent lapse in memory, Iranian state media has maintained that “everything is proceeding exactly as planned” and that “True Promise 3 is in a classified phase of development.” However, skeptical analysts point out that Iran’s messaging has shifted from bold threats to vague hand gestures and the occasional “you’ll see” when pressed for details.
For now, the world waits perhaps indefinitely for True Promise 3, or whatever it was supposed to be.
Tehran, 🇮🇷⚡️🇮🇱 Iranian officials have reportedly failed to launch their much-anticipated “True Promise 3” operation not due to technical difficulties or strategic recalculations, but simply because they, well… forgot about it.
Sources inside Iran’s military command say the planned retaliatory strike, which was heavily teased after previous escalations, never materialized because key figures in the operation “kind of forgot what the promise was” and assumed that if they just stopped mentioning it, everyone else would, too.
“We had True Promise 1 and 2, but when it came time for 3, we realized no one actually wrote it down,” said one anonymous senior official. “And by that point, it just felt awkward to ask. We figured, maybe the world would just forget about it along with us. But, uh… here we are.”
Despite the apparent lapse in memory, Iranian state media has maintained that “everything is proceeding exactly as planned” and that “True Promise 3 is in a classified phase of development.” However, skeptical analysts point out that Iran’s messaging has shifted from bold threats to vague hand gestures and the occasional “you’ll see” when pressed for details.
For now, the world waits perhaps indefinitely for True Promise 3, or whatever it was supposed to be.
23.02.202509:56
BREAKING NEWS 🇸🇾⚡: Paratroopers finally landing over Hama!
Commander Himar Al-Assad stated "We got a bit lost."
According to 100% reliable sources like Middle East Spectator and War Monitor, who are not coping with any form of loss in Syria and are unbiased news sources, Hama is nearly fully under Bashar's control.
Commander Himar Al-Assad stated "We got a bit lost."
According to 100% reliable sources like Middle East Spectator and War Monitor, who are not coping with any form of loss in Syria and are unbiased news sources, Hama is nearly fully under Bashar's control.
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