steiners ramblings

The skinheads aren't the issue, nor are the Christians or whatever. You are the issue, the world is entering a critical stage wherein Fascist ideas have become plausible to espouse, there are Fascist movements and groups in the world now worth joining, there are places where our success, although unlikely, is possible. So why are Esoteric Hitlerists not the ones exploiting those opportunities first, and with the most heart? Why are football hooligans the ones expanding our influence in Ukraine? Or forming political sectors, active clubs, whatever? These people genuinely think that their niggerball team is on par with their race on the level of importance ascribed to it - I would call them retards, if everyone I know didn't think trying to fuck a 6/10 girl, or their dead end job at a fast food restaurant, more important than attempting to save their race. The only distinction I see there, is that I see the skinheads and hooligans on the streets, in the trenches, in positions of power, while the "ultimate radical" is always a loser.

One of my main gripes with coming to terms concerning the thinking of the normal person participating in our society is the dominant obsession with minute and irrelevant things. Everyone, although not actively, views themselves as the main character in some grand heroic epic - ala Joyce's 'Ulysses', but without the internalized absurdity and comedy of the perspective - wherein the completion of their daily tasks is a major event within reality. The lives of these people must be so eventful, for failing an exam is a grand cosmic tradegy and an university party at the club an apex of pleasure. Is this some consequence of modernitys infantilizing impact on the psyche? For a child, that ice cream cone may mean more than the world in a passing moment. Or maybe the farce is a result of the corrosion of anything truly important and everything truly worthwhile. I could always attribute it to the acceleration of momentary existence. Or maybe it's simply the natural state for humans, one that I cannot reach due to well-crafted cynicism. In looking for answers, often one gets lost in the maze of plausible explanations. Any of these I could justify to myself, probably sufficiently to die on that hill. It's not that the reasoning is inept, rather that an abundance of contrasting good justifications. This is why intellectualism is a false god.

It's just so incomprehensible to me. How do people muster the energy to care so much? Talk to hundreds of people, maintain hundreds of meaningless relationships. Care about hundreds of little things as if they mattered, remember hundreds of birthdays. I don't consider myself particularly smart, nor stupid, but I couldn't conceive myself having the capacity to memorize each name, every face, every birthday, every minor communication and social ritual completed with a minute character elaborately secondary to your life. I can't imagine what it's like to expend constant mental strain on concern over relationships, bills, online shopping lists, what concerts you absolutely CANNOT miss, hyperexpansive social circles... All the while being demonstratably retarted in the academic pursuits you find so immensely important to life. The contrast is so eerie to me, such competence and such a fantastic memory, all expended in the most trivial and meaningless pursuits lacking any higher interest, devoid of intrigue. I think there is a slight horror to it, thinking about what the opium addict could be were he not to expend his competence on it's consumption.