TF
the fckn news
summaries of news i see throughout the day. inconsistent publishing times, no oversight, done in my spare time on my own whims. contact: @maffsie
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Channel creation dateAug 31, 2022
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May 24, 2024Latest posts in group "the fckn news"
16.05.202512:35
the Against Conversion Therapy (ACT) european citizens initiative asking for the european union to ban conversion therapy is currently approaching one million signatures. the fckn news encourages any readers residing or holding citizenship in european union member states to sign it.
https://eci.ec.europa.eu/043/public/
https://act.lgbt/
https://eci.ec.europa.eu/043/public/
https://act.lgbt/
08.05.202517:51
new pope just dropped. sorry but he’s a leo.
also he’s from chicago.
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/live/cn4we7prv4rt
also he’s from chicago.
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/live/cn4we7prv4rt
02.05.202510:55
the modern german nazi party, AfD (alternative für deutschland), has been officially classified as an “extreme-right” organisation in a 1,000 page report from the german intelligence agency BfV (bundesamt für verfassungsschutz), in english the “federal office for the protection of the constitution”. german names entertain my simple mind. fuck fascists.
https://www.politico.eu/article/afd-officially-right-wing-extremist-group-germanys-intel-agency-says/
https://www.politico.eu/article/afd-officially-right-wing-extremist-group-germanys-intel-agency-says/
21.04.202508:52
pope francis met jd couchfucker and then immediately died
https://apnews.com/live/pope-francis-dies-catholic-church-updates
https://apnews.com/live/pope-francis-dies-catholic-church-updates
07.04.202518:31
an earlier version of this post incorrectly asserted that all three pups were named after game of thrones characters. your fckn news local correspondent for recently-revived wolf species has not seen even one game of throne, because they only watch good tv shows, and did not know romulus and remus were not from the show. they maintain that romulus is a dork ass name for a living being though. the fckn news regrets the error.
07.04.202518:17
dire wolves are apparently kind of around again. scientists have used dna from a 13,000 year old tooth and a 72,000 year old skull to produce three grey wolf pups carrying the genes of dire wolves. they claim this is the first “de-extinction” but it remains to be seen how close the resulting wolf pups actually are to dire wolves, and whether this actually qualifies as dire wolves no longer being extinct.
because the scientists are the biggest fucking losers in the world, they named one of the three pups after someone in game of thrones - romulus, remus, and khaleesi.
https://web.archive.org/web/20250407170718/https://www.nytimes.com/2025/04/07/science/colossal-dire-wolf-deextinction.html
because the scientists are the biggest fucking losers in the world, they named one of the three pups after someone in game of thrones - romulus, remus, and khaleesi.
https://web.archive.org/web/20250407170718/https://www.nytimes.com/2025/04/07/science/colossal-dire-wolf-deextinction.html
04.04.202516:15
the reprehensible bastards at nintendo have removed the IR camera from the switch 2's joycons
but it supports the switch 1's joycons for backwards compatibility stuff so i'm slightly less mad. still mad tho.
https://www.nintendo.com/en-gb/Hardware/Nintendo-Switch-2/Compatibility-with-Nintendo-Switch-games-2786092.html
but it supports the switch 1's joycons for backwards compatibility stuff so i'm slightly less mad. still mad tho.
https://www.nintendo.com/en-gb/Hardware/Nintendo-Switch-2/Compatibility-with-Nintendo-Switch-games-2786092.html
02.04.202515:38
nintendo (cowards) did not announce pricing in the nintendo direct, but nintendo of america's website does list the price of the switch 2 alone as 449USD (even more cowardly, they gated the price behind signing in with a nintendo account)
pricing for other regions does not seem to be immediately available because nintendo forgot to update their other regional sites.
https://www.nintendo.com/us/gaming-systems/switch-2/how-to-buy/
pricing for other regions does not seem to be immediately available because nintendo forgot to update their other regional sites.
https://www.nintendo.com/us/gaming-systems/switch-2/how-to-buy/
02.04.202515:31
in an effort to improve my mental health, this channel will only post about ultimately inconsequential shit like video games or dumb tech stuff (unless something happens in world news that's actually fucking good). i didn't post anything for two months because it was just too miserable reading world news.
02.04.202514:09
an earlier version of this post incorrectly stated that "nintendo switch 2 welcome tour" was included with the switch 2, when it is in fact a paid, digital-only game launching the same day as the switch 2. the fckn news regrets the error.
nintendo will regret not bundling it with the system.
nintendo will regret not bundling it with the system.
02.04.202514:03
nintendo confirmed that sex is real.
switch 2 comes out 5th June 2025
what's new switch 2:
- SD Express instead of regular sd cards, 256gb internal storage, and faster internal storage
- mouse mode confirmed
- new button on right joycon is a "C" button. the c does not stand for clit, but instead for "GameChat", which is basically nintendo discord. they're launching a standalone usb-c camera to go with it.
- usb-c port at the top confirmed
- higher pixel density screen that can do 120fps and HDR
- the dock has active cooling for the console, 4K support
- there will be some switch games done up for switch 2. metroid prime 4 beyond will have a 1080p 120fps / 4k 60fps setting and mouse fps. for people who own the games on switch already, you have to buy an upgrade thing to get the remastered shit lmfao.
- switch online adds gamecube to the virtual console for switch 2 and they're making a gamecube controller for switch
- launch model will be available alone or in a bundle with a digital copy of mario kart world
the games (expand for the list, there's a lot):
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1uGRs-ispRU
switch 2 comes out 5th June 2025
what's new switch 2:
- SD Express instead of regular sd cards, 256gb internal storage, and faster internal storage
- mouse mode confirmed
- new button on right joycon is a "C" button. the c does not stand for clit, but instead for "GameChat", which is basically nintendo discord. they're launching a standalone usb-c camera to go with it.
- usb-c port at the top confirmed
- higher pixel density screen that can do 120fps and HDR
- the dock has active cooling for the console, 4K support
- there will be some switch games done up for switch 2. metroid prime 4 beyond will have a 1080p 120fps / 4k 60fps setting and mouse fps. for people who own the games on switch already, you have to buy an upgrade thing to get the remastered shit lmfao.
- switch online adds gamecube to the virtual console for switch 2 and they're making a gamecube controller for switch
- launch model will be available alone or in a bundle with a digital copy of mario kart world
the games (expand for the list, there's a lot):
- new mario kart is called mario kart world, it's an open-world thing for some reason.
- drag x drive, which looks like rocket league had a baby with ARMS
- new hyrule warriors zelda game that's a prequel to tears of the kingdom
- kirby air riders, directed by masuhiro sakurai
- donkey kong bananza
- "nintendo switch 2 welcome tour", an astro's playground for ps5 style game that for some inexplicable reason is sold separately rather than being bundled with the system
- tears of the kingdom has a mobile app thing that has GPS for some reason
- tony hawk pro skater 3+4
- hitman 3 and IOI's new jame bond 007 game
- yakuza 0 and "more in the future from the series"
- deltarune chapters 1, 2, 3 and 4 on launch day
- civ 7 with mouse support, also on launch day
- enter the gungeon 2
- "starseeker: astroneer expeditions". it's astroneer 2. what a shit name.
- cyberpunk 2077
- final fantasy 7
- hollow knight
- two point museum
- puyo puyo tetris
- a star war
- hades 2
- ridge racer
- professor layton
- tamagotchi plaza
- new from software game "the duskbloods" kinda looks bloodborne-y, exclusive to switch 2
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1uGRs-ispRU
27.03.202515:07
finally some good fucking news. rhythm heaven is coming to nintendo switch in 2026 with rhythm heaven groove.
https://www.polygon.com/gaming/547833/new-rhythm-heaven-groove-announced
https://www.polygon.com/gaming/547833/new-rhythm-heaven-groove-announced
07.01.202512:54
jean-marie le pen, founder of the french far right party “national front”, known as a holocaust denier and torturer of algerian prisoners, is dead and in hell where he belongs.
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/c84z7pl4193o
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/c84z7pl4193o
06.01.202516:21
happy new year. justin “blackface” trudeau is resigning as leader of the canadian liberal party, and will step down as prime minister once a replacement is chosen.
https://apnews.com/live/justin-trudeau-canada-prime-minister
https://apnews.com/live/justin-trudeau-canada-prime-minister
04.12.202414:26
brian thompson, ceo of american health insurance company "unitedhealthcare", was shot outside a hotel. the new york post reported he was rushed to the hospital in critical condition, where they presumably stopped him to ask if he had insurance. they then told him how to pronounce "dead".
unitedhealthcare, one of the largest insurance companies in america, has been under antitrust investigations as well as class action lawsuits in part due to its use of "a" "i" in denying care to the people paying for insurance, especially the elderly.
the fckn news wishes to express support for brian thompson's transition to resident of hell.
https://www.reuters.com/world/us/unitedhealthcare-ceo-fatally-shot-ny-post-reports-2024-12-04/
unitedhealthcare, one of the largest insurance companies in america, has been under antitrust investigations as well as class action lawsuits in part due to its use of "a" "i" in denying care to the people paying for insurance, especially the elderly.
the fckn news wishes to express support for brian thompson's transition to resident of hell.
https://www.reuters.com/world/us/unitedhealthcare-ceo-fatally-shot-ny-post-reports-2024-12-04/
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