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Мир сегодня с "Юрий Подоляка"
Мир сегодня с "Юрий Подоляка"
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McTater's avatar

McTater's

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МоваІншая
Дата стварэння каналаСіч 20, 2024
Дадана ў TGlist
Трав 31, 2024
Прыкрепленая група

Апошнія публікацыі ў групе "McTater's"

Here's the English translation of the text:

"The lockdowns during the pandemic were called for by the government. Everyone consciously stayed at home; even if they weren't conscious about it, they had no choice because everywhere was closed, and there was nowhere to go even if you went out. Later, it transitioned to needing nucleic acid tests to go out, and you could only enter and exit public places with a health QR code based on the test result. There was no talk of military blockades. At the time, gatherings were not allowed, and the military would count as a gathering and could also get infected [laughing crying emoji]. No one around me died due to infection, including my parents and other elderly relatives who all got infected, but their symptoms were very mild, much milder than mine [facepalm emoji]. However, there are quite a few people around me with after-effects, but not because of the infection, but because of the vaccines [awkward emoji]."


From RedNote. This was a comment on a post asking about COVID lockdowns in China. This is an AI translation, and it matches up with the translation provided by RedNote's built-in translation.
"War in the Middle East! They're killing each other!"

Me:
When I get my pirate ship, the galley will definitely be equipped with gas station roller grills.
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Scopae Legiones 💀 avatar
Scopae Legiones 💀
(2/2)

Jerry was struck by this revelation. There's no way it could have been 28 years! He just washed up here not that long ago, right? It was only... How long was it?

The First Mate was starting to put the pieces together. "Captain. I've heard about this reefer plant before. Men start smoking it because it can help you relax without the harsh effects of alcohol, but it makes you complacent. We shouldn't let the men have any-"

Before he could finish, the Captain was already shouting. "Fucking hell Ephraim, don't inhale that!" The whole crew looked over and could see Deckhand Ephraim holding Jerry's bong and a lighter, frozen in place.

"Apologies, Captain," Ephraim said as he gave it back.

"Now. Where's the real treasure?" the Captain asked.

"Right here, man," Jerry said as he gestured towards the field.

"This is what you call the greatest treasure on Earth?" Jerry, Mavis, and the other island residents present all nodded. "You're not messing with us, are you?" The residents nodded again. Captain Tater groaned and turned to the crew.

"This place sucks. Let's just leave and let these idiots waste their lives." The crew was enlightened.
The Wisdom of Captain Tater

It was the start of another chill day on Bud Island. The sun reached its noontime zenith in the blue sky above, and the residents began to awake from their slumber. It was another beautiful sunny day, with mild temperatures. Things were always chill here.

There was no leader and no hierarchy here. Everyone was just chill, you know? Stuff got done when it needed to, most of the time. It's fine, man. Everybody loved it here. Most of the residents arrived after a shipwreck. Some of them were sailors from visiting crews who decided to stay. It didn't matter how you showed up though - everyone was welcome.

Mavis was the first to wake up as usual. He rummaged through his stuff until he found what he was looking for - a bud! Bud Island was famous for its reefer. Wait, was it? It should be. This stuff was great, man. Mavis ground his bud, packed a pipe, and lit that shit. "Wake and bake, man. Perfect way to start your day."

The more ambitious residents were out in the fields, tending to the crops - especially the reefer crops. They worked at a leisurely pace. After all, what's the rush? Everything you could want is right here.

The residents wore clothing that, aside from the garish dyes used to color it, was pretty simple. You just need something practical and comfortable here. Loose fitting shirts and pants, and a bandana or a hat to keep the sun off your head. Sunburn is no good, man. You can always rub some reefer oil on that shit though. After a few hours of work, it was time for everyone to toke up. Far out.

While everyone was busy, a ship flying a black flag pulled up. It was the Tater Pirates. Landing boats came ashore, carrying Captain Tater and his party.

"So this is the island?" Captain Tater asked.

"It is," Big Jim replied. "They must have some kind of great treasure here. Many sailors have ventured onto this land and decided to stay."

"Are you sure it's not just dangerous?" asked the First Mate.

"What are you, scared?" Captain Tater teased his second in command. "Come on. We're dead men walking anyway."

As Mavis wandered along the beach, he saw the new arrivals. "Woah man, no way! We got visitors!"

The crew turned to look at the strange man approaching them. He was unkempt, with long scraggly hair and a wild beard. This didn't bother them - pirates are no different.

"Ahoy, landlubber!" shouted Captain Tater. "We're here for your treasure." He gripped the hilt of his cutlass as he spoke. "Now show us where you're hiding it, or I'll cut your gizzard out."

Mavis held his hands up. "Take it easy, man. There's plenty for everyone. We got way more than you need, I promise."

Captain Tater thought this was strange. Is this guy an idiot? Though it probably wouldn't hurt to play along for now. "Alright, alright. We'll follow you."

They walked slowly at first, until Tater ordered the First Mate to kick Mavis in the ass until he started walking faster, and to do it again if he slowed down. They finally arrived at their destination - the reefer fields.

"What the hell is this?" Tater bellowed.

"It's the treasure, man. I can tell you guys need it." He rubbed his bottom, which was now sore from all the kicking. "You guys are savages." The crew took that as a compliment.

As they scratched their heads, wondering what was going on, an old gray bearded man wandered through the fields. He wore rose tinted glasses and held a strange glass device, which was filled with water and had a small pipe coming off the side.

"I heard the commotion. Sounds like you guys could use a hit so I brought my good bong."

Jim recognized the strange man instantly. "Jerry? What are you doing here? I thought you died when our old ship wrecked!"

"Oh yeah, I remember!" Jerry exclaimed. "Man, that was something else. Good thing I washed up here. I've just been chilling with these dudes and enjoying this exquisite bud." He lit the bong and took a hit. "Hey Jim, when did you get so old?"

"Jerry, I haven't seen you for 28 years. We're both old." (1/2)
No more Red 40? How will Americans survive?
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MEME EMPORIUM avatar
MEME EMPORIUM
Millennials will complain about how zoomers are still playing Fortnite and buying Vbucks, like they didn't spend the entire life cycle of the Xbox 360 buying every annual Call of Duty reskin with the Super Premium Good Goy season pass bundle.
Why are Bethesda games so popular? The game mechanics are always terrible and they're full of bugs.
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The Aureus Press avatar
The Aureus Press
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Working Men Memes avatar
Working Men Memes
Another Cardinal has been added to the list of candidates for Pope.

Have you said the Hail Mary even once?

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Here's the English translation of the text:

"The lockdowns during the pandemic were called for by the government. Everyone consciously stayed at home; even if they weren't conscious about it, they had no choice because everywhere was closed, and there was nowhere to go even if you went out. Later, it transitioned to needing nucleic acid tests to go out, and you could only enter and exit public places with a health QR code based on the test result. There was no talk of military blockades. At the time, gatherings were not allowed, and the military would count as a gathering and could also get infected [laughing crying emoji]. No one around me died due to infection, including my parents and other elderly relatives who all got infected, but their symptoms were very mild, much milder than mine [facepalm emoji]. However, there are quite a few people around me with after-effects, but not because of the infection, but because of the vaccines [awkward emoji]."


From RedNote. This was a comment on a post asking about COVID lockdowns in China. This is an AI translation, and it matches up with the translation provided by RedNote's built-in translation.
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Увайдзіце, каб разблакаваць больш функцый.